I would like to apologize ahead of time for anyone's brain I may eat.
I did something possibly stupid today.
I saved a suicidal pigeon's life.
It was in the middle of the road and would not move. I had to come to a complete stop. Worried that it would get hit and ignoring the part in my brain that said if it wasn't flying, even if I save it now, it'll die soon, I got out of my jeep and tried to shoo it away. Well, I guess if a jeep couldn't shoo it, I couldn't.
Noticing a metal band on it's leg, I suddenly thought, "Oh! Maybe it's tame!" Slowly, and again ignoring logic I reached down...and picked it up. Though it let me, various friends and relatives yelled at me in my head.
I was doing my own internal screaming. "Omg, look at it blinking slow. It's diseased. I picked up a diseased bird and now I'm going to get bird flu or turn into a zombie." Slowly I walked into someone's yard and set it down. I thought about ringing the doorbell, but decided against it fearing they were old people and that I'd feel bad and end up adopting the bird myself until it's inevitable death.
Wringing my hands for a few minutes, I finally left, hoping it was just stunned. (Please, oh please just be stunned! )
I got in the car, practically bathed in hand sanitizer and went to the movies where I likely infected everyone with the zombie virus. Psst...if you live close to me, don't go to the theater by the mall.
On the up side, Captain America was awesome! Can't wait until May! ...assuming I didn't just kill the world.
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